waste
Oh, what a waste of a day.
I got up way too early and couldn't force myself back to sleep. Nightmares. And too much stupid crap going on in my head. I eventually gave up and took up residence on the couch instead of the bed. Similar position, but it affords easier access to a TV with which I hoped I could numb my brain.
I watched Spongebob and a Robot Wars episode I'm sure I've seen before. And then whatever crap show comes on SPACE after Robot Wars. And then when that horrid Lost World show came on, I made two complete revolutions around the entire cable dial before giving up in disgust and trying to take a nap.
That didn't work either. So I pulled myself off the couch and got myself dressed and decided to force myself outside for a nice little walk or something. It was rather sunny, after all. It was also goddamned cold.
I got to the end of the driveway and decided I didn't want to do this after all. But I was outside and going back inside would just make me more miserable, so I turned around and got in the car instead. Probably there was that I didn't have anywhere to go. In that sort of situation, I usually decide to go to Future Shop or the mall or something. But I'd been to all the usual places in the last week, and frankly, that never actually makes me feel any more purposeful.
So I went to work instead. Why? No idea. There aren't really any small jobs I can do at work at the moment to keep my mind off things. Work's been good for that the last couple weeks, but I'd finished off most of the easy/interesting stuff on Friday and it's going to take a bit of slogging before I can get more interesting things to work on. I uninstalled and reinstalled VSIP, because somebody on the newsgroup suggested that a sample app might be more substantial than the one on my harddrive. No luck there. So I just sat and surfed and listened to music. All of which I could just as easily do at home.
So I went home. Since then I've had a rather unhealthy supper and have mostly been debating whether or not I should post this. I think I should.
And that's it, really. I told you it was a waste of a day.
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<azrael-1@angelfire.com> writes:
So, what's the problem?
What kind of stupid crap is bugging you and what things do you have to get your mind off?
Anyway, your waste of a day sounds like the story of my current life when I'm not actually in a classroom and I even have a prescription for the sleeping problems (it actually works some of the time).
So, what's the hubbub bub?
Submitted 2004-02-15 23:24:28
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flying squirrel
writes:
Hubbub? Nothing much, really. Just the usual "woe is me, I'm going to die alone" things.
I went to a birthday party on Saturday, which was mostly a lot of fun, but sort of petered out and the end in a way that kind of reinforced aloneness and I went home feeling rather depressed and sorry for myself. Being that day and all. And, as is usual for social things, I ended up getting all anxious about the things I did or said or didn't say that I'm sure, rationally, nobody but me actually cares about. And then I realize that and go "Argh! Why am I such a basketcase?" and then go on to wonder how I can possibly get over that nonsense long enough to convince somebody to like me and when I can't come up with any sort of answer it all folds back into itself and we start over from the beginning again.
So yeah, just the usual.
Submitted 2004-02-16 05:53:51
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writes:
What exactly is wrong with dying alone?
I think that it's easier to deal with people when you come to terms with it being OK to die alone it makes situations much more relaxed when you can honestly say that being with someone isn't that important. The chances that that will actually happen aren't great and it is much better to feel content with yourself than to look for contentment through another.
In my opinion, what you're finding unhappiness in is the lack of any real challenging or new experiences. The lack of challenge in your job seems to be a long running theme in your posts along with the general hohum about the routines you find yourself in. So, instead of setting a get a date goal for yourself try setting a new experience goal for yourself maybe once a month, or more if you can handle it.
Here may be a good place to start...
http://www.genworld.com/caa/
or even here...
Writers' Front
Elaine Auerbach
83 Rose Lea Crescent
Waterloo, Ontario N2J 4M7
I suggest the writing things because your attempt in November is maybe the last thing you actually seemed excited about. (Then again, I only get the information you write here and can only interpret it so I may have no clue.)
As for Valentine's Day, the best ones I have tend to be spent alone. I was nice and content this past Saturday with a six pack, some cheap Chinese food, and my guitar. I know the TV was on also, but can't remember a thing that was on other than the hockey game in the afternoon. Singles was on Sunday afternoon and that was fun to watch again.
Submitted 2004-02-16 21:33:46
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tinkerer
writes:
Poor Squirrel. I hope next time you remember to eat ice cream. No day that features ice cream is ever a *total* waste. And make it a point to get the really good gourmet stuff. That way if tomorrow somehow fails to show up, you won't regret being a nipcheese and cheating yourself out of the best experience available. ;>
p.s. I saw that game--Detroit lost, *sigh*. Say what you will, they are missing Federov, and they are going to lose home ice advantage for the playoffs. But at least they lost to another team I enjoy. I watched it after a morning spent at the rink, and before heading back to the rink. Hockey for Valentines Day? Better than chocolate. lol!
Submitted 2004-02-17 20:14:47
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writes:
It sickens me to see Whitney in a Red Wings uniform.
Anyway, as of tonight they're in first place so the loss of the half-asser hasn't hurt them that much. Besides, with the money they saved they got to add two quality players, Whitney and Schneider. Where the half-asser has lead a team that was in the Stanley Cup finals to out of the playoffs, at least at this time. As a defenseman, Schneider is only 11 points in scoring behind what's his face add Whitney's points and I think Detroit made a good choice, one they should have made years ago. Since Hasek is gone, now they need to get rid of Shanahan and McCarty and I actually might like the team and Whitney could get his rightful number back.
Submitted 2004-02-18 21:50:30
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flying squirrel
writes:
Ice cream. I'll keep that in mind.
Submitted 2004-02-19 07:59:06
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writes:
WooHoo, Colorado picked up Sauer from Anaheim. Now he won't have to be tainted by having to play with the prima-donna anymore.
Submitted 2004-02-21 22:19:02
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