me and cosplay
I don\'t cosplay.
I have a lot of friends who do. Since I seem to go to a lot of cons (not that I think of myself as an avid con-goer... it\'s just something that happens), the question comes up every once in a while as to why I don\'t cosplay and if I ever would.
I never come out with a satisfying answer, really. Because it keeps coming up, I seem to give it a lot of thought. The answer to the \"why\" question tends to revolve around neuroses I\'m not particularly proud of... I\'m afraid of ridicule; I don\'t like drawing attention to myself; I don\'t like having my picture taken, etc...
I have dressed up once, but not for a con. Back in 1998, John had this great idea for a Hallowe\'en costume contest for CTRL-A. He wanted all the exec to dress up to serve as a good example for the rest of the club, to get people to participate. I wanted people to participate too, so I thought this was a good idea. I was dead against it being a contest, though. I don\'t like being judged or evaluated, and I knew I wasn\'t going to pull off anything worth judging, and I figured other people would feel the same. So if it was a contest, that might discourage people from joining in. John, on the other hand, felt that if there was no contest, there\'d be no incentive, and nobody would participate. We compromised by making it clear that we wanted everybody to dress up (and would give you candy if you did), but you didn\'t have to be in the contest if you didn\'t want to be. And I certainly didn\'t want to be.
I loved Hallowe\'en when I was a kid. Remember when you\'re a kid and you dress up for Halloween? I always dressed up as characters and things that I liked (as opposed to zombies or monsters), and that was the sort of mindset I had going into the CTRL-A costume contest. I was dressing up as a character because I liked it, and that was all. Represent. The idea was an iconic representation of the character, not a photographic likeness. Let\'s face it—I\'m never going to look like any sort of anime character. There are no anime characters who look anything like me.
I did Lupin, and scoured the Goodwill and Salvation Army. I did a pretty good job of getting the colours reasonably close, I thought. Pinned up the cuffs because Lupin\'s clothes always look a bit too small. I had to fake a tie tack with painted cardboard because I couldn\'t find a reasonable substitute, but at least it was there. I even went against my better judgement and got Hallowe\'en make-up for the sideburns, because Lupin really should have sideburns.
When I got to the show, it turned out there weren\'t that many people in costume, disappointingly, and even fewer wanted to be in the contest. To round out the contest, John cajoled the exec into going up on stage. I caved. When my name was called (\"as Lupin!\"), I slumped out into the room probably looking a bit displeased. When I got out there, the two smelly guys in the front row decided it was necessary to point out \"Uh, you don\'t look like Lupin.\" \" Yeah, maybe you should\'ve gone as that other guy...\" or something.
I was mortified. Of course I didn\'t look like Lupin! Lupin\'s a goddamned cartoon character. Looking like him wasn\'t even the point. And besides... I didn\'t even want to be there in the first place. It really ruined my day.
I actually thought about dressing up the next year. My plan, in order to clear up the annoying problem of having to look like a character was to dress up as me, but in a uniform. I still like this idea. I was going to do Legend of Galactic Heroes, because I like Legend of the Galactic Heroes, although I couldn\'t really decide what side I wanted to be on. I got started on an Imperial uniform (well, I got a black shirt anyway), but my heart wasn\'t in it. I couldn\'t generate the enthusiasm to put the effort in.
And that\'s about it, really. I\'ve never been able to generate the enthusiasm since. I\'m just not really interested. There\'s no incentive for me that would justify the time and effort and the potential for ridicule.
Cons provide additional disincentives, because there\'s that much more going on. I like being unencumbered. Dressing up at a con, watching all y\'all, just seems like such a pain in the ass, I can\'t imagine why it has the appeal it does. Even if you\'re wearing something you can walk around in and see out of, there\'s always some idiot getting in your face with a camera. It all just seems like the exact opposite of fun.
As for the would I ever? question, well, that depends. On the whole, probably not. I\'m not going to say never, but I have a hard time seeing incentives that would overcome all the perceived negatives. I kind of like the idea of dressing up, but only if I had some assurance of it being a fun, no-pressure, non-judgemental thing. And I like that this is something people tend to do with other people (I do feel a bit left out...), but on the flipside, that has the potential of being stressful too. So on balance it\'s just safer and easier to stay out of it all.