the flying squirrel

Darcy Casselman's weblog. Just like old times.

diaries

I've always wanted to have a diary. It's always struck me as just a little romantic. I've tried a bunch of times, but never quite managed it. When I did, the drivel that ensued was hardly encouraging. The only times I ever came close to writing a diary which might provide worthwhile insights into my person for my ancestors, biographers, etc. were when I was really, really depressed. And, well, I like to think that that sort of thing is hardly representative.

It wasn't very good, either.

You read stories about people with diaries. They write inspired things about life, love, themselves and others. They also write about mundane things that, however small they are, make you truly feel for the person writing.

Part of the reason I like the diary idea, I think, is because I've got so much I'd like to tell the world. At least, I think I do. But then when I sit down and actually try to write some of it, it all flutters away somewhere, or I think " That's no good," and delete a few paragraphs. If I have a diary, I figure, I'll be able to write all this stuff down so that maybe it'll take shape. It's not really telling the world, but it's one notch better than keeping it hidden (and ultimately forgotten) inside. And since I'm not telling the world, I don't have to worry about censoring myself quite so much.

Sounds good, right? The problem is that it doesn't seem to work. Maybe it's because I'm writing it just for me (putting aside biographers for a moment). If it's just for me, why bother? I already know it. And, for some reason, I still censor myself. There's something fundamentally silly about that. Then again, it's probably the biographers I'm thinking about.

At the heart of it, I want to prove to the world that I'm a good and worthwhile human being. I just don't think I'm doing a good enough job of that out in the full-motion, three dimensional world. Doing it on paper seems almost as good.

But doing it on a web page is just too scary. I'd never do that.

new job

You see before you a software developer. Yes, my alter ego is now finding his way around his new job. Good for him. It's about time.

Aunt Dimity's Good Deed was indeed lots of fun and quite fluffy. It's the kind of mystery novel that has recipes for butterscotch brownies in the back (they're not bad, by the way, if I can keep myself from burning them...). I think I'll go get the other book from Words Worth.

This is a kind of warm and fuzzy series. I'd once have bemoaned this sort of thing as trite pablum, but sometimes I need this sort of thing. It's nice. But like comfort food (Brownies!), it's best in moderation.

Hm. Better get back to work...

bookstores

Today I went on an expedition in search of a book. I decided to wander down to Chapters because I had nothing better to do with my Saturday. It was a fantastic day out, and I didn't want to waste it sitting around inside.

Chapters didn't have the book I wanted, and since they disagreed with me on how high the temperature needs to go before you really should turn the air conditioner on, I didn't stick around. I had a thought, then, that I'd have better luck at Words Worth downtown.

I haven't been to Uptown Waterloo (as it's called) in months. I used to go down there about once every couple weeks, but that was when I lived a 15 minute's walk away. It's a bit farther now. I didn't like Words Worth when I first encountered it in my freshman year. It struck me as some crazy, new age feminist propaganda vehicle. I don't think they' ve significantly changed their format since. It's more that I'm simply not nearly as frightened by "new age" or " feminist" as I was (ye gods) seven years ago. Now Words Worth is probably my favourite bookstore in the area. It's considerably smaller than Greenley's back home and has a much narrower selection, but it's nice to find a place where books on the shelves are there by virtue of quality. And I love the little post-it note mini-reviews stuck on books. Every time I've been adventurous enough to pull a near-random book off the shelf, I haven't been disappointed. This is, after all, how I found Connie Willis.

Sure enough, they did have two of the Aunt Dimity books I was looking for. This series seems to have all the "light" and "fun" and "modern" elements of my current ideal mystery series. I picked up Aunt Dimity's Good Deed. I'll let you know how it goes.

I was surprised to find that Waterloo now has a used bookstore! It's about time. They're currently building up stock, but you should give Old Goat Books a try, if you happen ot be in the area. Like the best used book stores, it's in a great old century home and the floors creek when you walk around. Wonderful!